Did we ever figure out who was injecting acid into their penises? Is this part of the reason they ran out of condoms?
On a related note, how do you run out of condoms, at the Olympics (which is like the Olympics for young, fuckable people in the best shape of their lives)? I know there was considerable distance between the athletes’ genitals this year, but the last one used 300,000 and you guys only bought 10,000? Was this some grand scheme to make all of the contestants at the 2050 Riyadh Winter Games born of these Winter Games? Were the Italians in charge just doing what they thought was best in the face of declining birth rates worldwide?
After watching French figure skating coach Benoît Richaud change into multiple countries’ team jackets, then finding out he was coaching 16 skaters from 13 different countries, I renew my push for all coaches to also be born (or naturalized) in the country they are coaching for. Let’s have that patriotism extend to the management team, please.
Skimo was funny. Can other sports please include a portion of their events dedicated to watching the athletes struggle with their equipment between point A and point B.
More Mass starts, please.
What’s the biggest emotional drop off from one finishing spot to the next? The 16th place finisher is not jealous of the 15th place finisher. Most of you will go with the obvious chasm between first place and 2nd place but let me counter with the unbelievably disrespectful gap between 3rd place and 4th place. Unless we start giving out shittier and shittier metals for finishers 4 through 10 (lead through aluminum foil) the most devastating blow has to be coming up 4th. You never see the 4th place finisher cheering for themselves. We've been taught to celebrate seconds as silvers and thirds as bronze and all of them as almost equally impressive but the reality is the second loser gets a medal, but the third loser gets nothing but the pain of regret.
See you in 2 years for an Olympics that will probably be boycotted by half of the world, including the host city.